It’s been a few days since I’ve been blocked. The last time I experienced this was when “shit happened”. That’s a different story, and I don’t want it to happen again.
All of us have our own roller coaster. Mine’s the ‘block’. Sometimes I write well, sometimes I can’t. The inspiration and motivation to do so seems to leave me on somedays. And as I write this, the “shit happened” keeps on blocking me.
The “shit” was the thing I feared the most, being unable to achieve the dream I could only achieve once, and it happened. That nightmare hogged everything. I wasn’t motivated to go back to my old self and I wasn’t enthusiastic enough to try to. I did meet a new hope, and she provided me with a whole new window to see the world differently. As the days passed by, that “shit” kept haunting me. I knew then that I had to do something to avenge myself. I guess I just got weaker.
As I lose the enthusiasm on writing this, I plan to scrutinize myself. The mental torture I’ve done and received weren’t enough. Somehow, I feel the need to do it now. I only have a few weeks left, and whether to improve or not is up to me.
Five weeks from now, I better step out of my decaying skin.