What Defines You

Write about them. What you see, what you hear, what you feel. Once you leave, write it down, and don’t leave it anywhere but your notebook. Because what you see in them is what you judge, what you hear is never the truth, and what you feel is only yours. Write about them. Those people that never really became a part of you until you write those words about them. Them are the people who has a voice, but never speak up. Them are the people who control the market and label those products that they sell. Them are the people who reward themselves from the sacrifice of others.Write about them. Indulge the pleasure of having words to backup your plans. It’s not bad if it’s for the good. To uncover the masks that they use, take down the facade, and shatter what they used to shatter you, too.

Write about yourself, for yourself, to yourself. What you see as the truth should not only be about the others, but also you. What you prioritize should not always be the others, but as well as you. Write about yourself, for yourself, to yourself. See how you can do, for better or for worse, and what you can do to achieve that goal. You work for what you want, and fight if needed so. For yourself, do what is needed.

What defines you should not be what they say, what they label. What defines you should not be what you do to cover who you are, but what you really do. What defines you should not be what you cover, what defines you should not be your failures, what defines you should not be your past.

Write about them, those people who take the pleasure with their selfishness. Write about yourself, and satisfy yourself with the lies you created for your own pleasure. Anything that you do can never define you. You create your own self, and quench your thirst for identity. That’s why you always look up, to the people who inspire you. You look up to see if you can be your own identity. If anything is needed to fix what is broken, imperfect, incomplete, the course of action is in your own hands.

You thought you were pure, but you were only a few percent real. You thought you were uncovering the masks of others but you were covering yourself more. The words you used against them are the words you don’t use to define you.

Photo Source : https://www.instagram.com/mimles

Disgusted

It showed in your eyes, and the way you look at him. The sour mouth, the unfriendly touch, the stay-away-from-me torso. You were obviously disgusted even before you knew him. His mere presence insults and disgusts you, and you do everything to keep him away from you.

But you approach him, when you needed an advantage. He wouldn’t dare hurt you or respond negatively to your actions. Oh, girl, he knows how and what you think of him. Do you know what he thinks of you?

When I Couldn’t Love Every Part Of Me

Of course, I hated me. I couldn’t deal with the fact on how ugly I am, both inside and outside. Before, I didn’t care. I lived in this part of the world where nobody cared whatever they looked. Whether they were too fat or too skinny, they’re still beautiful. Then, I had to adapt to this new environment, and I did. That was also when I knew that being too fat and too skinny are not beautiful.

There is one thing I loved in me, and I hope I will continue to cherish it because it’s the only part of me that drives me so mad to adapt the new environment in me.

Two environments – the one in me and the one where I live – that are so different that I got good at keeping them separate. No one else knew about my personal environment. People around me thought they know me because I give in to the temporary pleasures they present. But that ‘giving in’ was just one of the ugly things I hate about myself.

Self-love is the one thing I love about myself. I love myself so much that I want to change, not because of the ugly things I have in and out. But because I want to be better than before, wiser than yesterday, and more loving to myself. If I don’t love myself, I wouldn’t be writing (or typing, haha) here. There are just a few things that I have kept because of how much I love myself.

That was the only thing I have never told anyone, especially when I couldn’t love every part of me. That was the only voice I heard when I wanted to  quit, when I wanted an out. “There’s still good somewhere, and better some day.”